Back To Work

Oh no, I left my headphones attached to my computer! I need a backup set of headphones just for the train so that I don’t forget them ever. “Why were they attached to your computer,” you might ask. Well, I finally started getting myself in gear. I hadn’t had enough sleep in a long time and two nights ago I decided it was time to get back into the cycle I had for Winter Wars. It’s the 1 AM cutoff time that is so crucial to my sleep cycle. The horrible thing I discovered is my sleep cycle has been so horribly broken for so long that I ended waking up an hour and a half before my alarm was supposed to go off. I was so well rested that I actually thought I was late for work for some very odd reason. After checking the time I realized I needed to get back to sleep. Waking up with my alarm though, I was somewhere in the REM cycle and felt like utter crap.

It’s great to be back in a groove. I tend to do this from time to time. I stare at something for a while and really feel no urge to work on it. Then when I realize I can work on another aspect of it, and I actually end of starting this other aspect, I get totally motivated again. It’s kind of odd how sometimes what you’re working on as a subject can really change how fast you can get it done. It may have nothing to do with the skill or time required to actually do the work, motivation is everything.

This project should really have been finished a couple of months ago, but I was really not feeling any kind of motivation. I just didn’t see a reason for pushing myself. It all just seemed like no matter how hard I tried it was all very inconsequential. What I realized lately is that simply giving up is not an option. I revert to that kind of guy every once in a while. He was around until around sophomore year of DigiPen. It’s a side of me that I don’t think I can get rid of forever, but I can certainly suppress it. You have to realize that my whole life has been a struggle for motivation. It’s only relatively recently that I have found the ways, and the will, to push myself to get things done.